Before you read any further, please make a note of the exact time you opened this, and send an email to me, taru@tarufisher.com with that time. It's very important.

In October 2022, I spent a lot of borrowed money to purchase the Coaches Console application so I would have the capability of integrating sending out newsletters to a group along with other functions important to automating behind-the-scenes coaching tasks. Since I am doing this all on my own with NO outside help, I wanted a system that took care of my coaching/mentoring business details, so I could focus on working with my people.

Unfortunately, the statistics portion of this function is deteriorating weekly by not correctly recording who opens the Love-Letter and at what time. Based on the time it was opened, it would appear a lot of you must be sitting with bated breath in front of your computer eagerly awaiting my L-L to arrive and opening it immediately...NOT. It also shows many of you are clicking on every single link in my Love-Letter! This is also not believable.

Why is this a problem? Well, I need to trust this software to give me accurate information. I have spoken with Tech Support 3 times with no changes, so I am not trusting this platform at the moment.

I am considering moving the Love-Letters to another app, but that will incur additional time and expense. That's why I'm asking for your help with the timing of when you open them.

I pulled these before I wrote this and what they told me is that I must stand up and declare my mistake in judgement, that I have the clarity to be able to discern between what is needed and good and what is useless and inappropriate, and stay faithful to my own truth.

Yesterday I received an email from an old friend who is in a writing class with me. As part of this class, we’ve been asked to provide feedback to others on their copy. It’s just for the copy talked about and shared in our Facebook group.

This time, because she’s my friend, I decided to help her by emailing her directly. Instead of providing feedback, I re-wrote what she had written and emailed it back to her. Big mistake!

In her email yesterday, she said that my rewrite hadn’t been helpful, and then carefully and kindly, explained to me what would have been useful. What I had done was intrusive rather than helpful and caused her some doubt about her writing.

I responded with an explanation of my motives; I love to help people, blah, blah, blah. No need to go into more details except to say it was never my intention to cause hurt. And instead, I did. I felt bad about what happened.

Last night, I looked at the situation again. I felt sad that it turned out to be a negative experience for her because I truly care about her. As I re-examined what happened, it became clear that I didn’t ask permission, I didn’t say that I had some ideas about what she wrote, and would she like to hear them? I just thoughtlessly bulldozed my way into her writing space. Not OK, not at all!

My desire to “help” my friend resulted in me hurting her instead. So, once more, I apologize here in my Love-Letter (of which she is a loyal reader), and I am so very grateful I now see that, despite my enthusiasm for helping, I must have the other person’s permission first. This is been a very valuable lesson for me. And I am so very grateful to her for her honesty.

WHEN WE STOP SEEKING APPROVAL

When we aren’t seeking
love and approval from others

When we don’t mind anymore
what they think of us

Whether they like us
Or agree with us
Or understand us
Or even see us

Then we are free

Free to be ourselves
Free to express our authenticity

Free to be wild
Free to be soft
Or fierce
Or silly
Or wise
Or angry
Or silent
Or sensual
Or weird or not

Free to express what’s truly alive for us
And not censor it
Or manipulate it for “likes”
Or control it for “love”
Or moderate it for “acceptance”

We are finally content to be ourselves
Seen or ignored
Ridiculed or celebrated
Loved or hated
Or whatever

It doesn’t really matter
Not on the deepest level anyway

(And it doesn’t mean
we aren’t still open to feedback
and exploring our blind spots)

But we finally approve of ourselves
And accept ourselves
And love ourselves
And feel safe inside of ourselves

So we don’t need to go “out there” for approval

And the hunt for safety “out there” fades away

And we find the deepest safety “in here”

So when they laugh at us
Or dislike our expression
Or ridicule us
Or try to shame us

We can smile
And have compassion
And refocus
And just keep walking the path

The path of authenticity
The path of ourselves

✍️ Jeff Foster (www.lifewithoutacentre.com)

My offer is either a complimentary Tarot Card Reading, a free 45-minute Virtual Call-A-Crone Chat about anything, and even a 1:1 email conversation…all at no cost or obligation. That said, given any limitations on my energy I may encounter, there will be times when I have to take care of myself first and say no.

Why am I offering this? Because some of you may not have the funds to work with me on a paid basis, and I still want to provide value for your participation in reading and responding to my Love-Letters, even if you haven't yet decided to become a paying friend.

I deeply appreciate your readership and love it if you would refer my L-L-’s to your friends and acquaintances so they may find value, too. So, if you know any women who would benefit from reading this, please forward it to them. And, if they want to get my 10 Tips For Powerful Aging, here's the link to subscribe and receive it: https://bit.ly/3RpkWQW