This is one corner of my messy desk. I used to feel guilty about its' messiness, but then I read a research study that found people with messy desks are pretty brilliant, and they showed a picture of Albert Einstein's desk. I am nearly as messy as Albert; we are simply simpatico!
My Final Quarter
Recently I began to wonder why I was so damn tired, so unmotivated, so bored, so ready to sleep late, so ready to merely watch mindless television, so ready to hibernate and watch the rest of the world go by.
Being a part of creating a successful business like Alive! Fitness Studio was exhilarating but tiring, and I bought into the vision and mission of Alive! (and I still do) but it never provided me with the fulfillment I had wanted. My dream and passion was and still is, coaching women to have rich, fulfilling, successful, and most of all, happy lives where they contribute positively to our world.
When COVID hit, I gave up on my dreams of coaching to put all my energies into saving the fitness business we had. I cut expenses--our bookkeeper, virtual assistant; anything and everything I could do, I did. Once we had ridden out the worst of it, I felt it had become time for me to let go of some of the Alive! duties, hire back help, and restart my coaching practice. I had been successful before, so I was confident it would be fairly easy to do.
For months I had been trying to get my Transform the Way You Age group coaching program to take off. It was like pushing a boulder up a hill-- 2 inches up, 2 feet back. I could never get the momentum I had previously been able to get when I helped create Alive! Fitness Studio with my husband. Creating and building Alive! took us sixteen years and lots of 80-hour work weeks with no vacations, very little fun built in, and finally, I was left with a burned-out feeling I couldn’t shake.
So, why was it so hard to do that? Why did I sink deeper and deeper into exhaustion?
I discovered I was no longer interested in building a big all-consuming business, to which I had to devote almost my entire life. And the biggest discovery was that I had been running away from my mortality. Yes, I said “mortality” as in death. All my efforts had been to age naturally and powerfully, to put a lot of effort into living longer, healthier, and better. Now that’s an admirable goal--it truly is. I was just using it to avoid seeing I was entering the last quarter of my current life and acknowledging that my motivations and interests had changed.
I am now an 81-year-old Elderwoman, a crone, a sage, a wise woman, and someone who values balancing “being” with “doing.” I hadn’t wanted to acknowledge my desire to slow down, to see what is present in this moment, to take time to contemplate and reflect, for sitting quietly and listening to the birds outside my kitchen window. I was afraid my younger, entrepreneurial friends would reject me and see me as merely an old lady who had given up on her dreams. But I had to speak it; I had to start living it.
When I shared my revelation with my female friends, I was given love and caring, and an even deeper connection began. I was supported, accepted, and, most of all, included. My fear of rejection was just that, my fear. I began to see what new path there was for me and where my accumulated wisdom from a lifetime of transitions could best be used. I felt renewed energy and a new focus for my coaching. And I began to write again, and it was like coming home and being welcomed back to a place I love so much. That’s one reason I write these Love-Letters to you; I feel so fulfilled when I do so.
Now I can see the road ahead and who I will serve. It is with women concerned about aging and becoming invisible; empty nesters looking for new meaning in their lives; women who are retiring, whether by choice or job loss, who want to design a new life, and women like myself who are entering Elderwomanhood and want to chart a new path that’s appropriate for them as they age.
What are you experiencing as you age?
What are your fears?
What positive changes are you making?
So, please leave your comments at https://tarufisher.com/my-final-quarter/.
I’d love to know because I want to make sure what I provide here is useful for you, even if you are a Crone-In-Waiting!
I know I've mentioned these products before, but they are so brilliant at keeping my facial skin happy and healthy that I'll mention them again. I've never used "cosmetics" as I always felt like they were caking my face with goop and making me look like I was wearing some sort of icky mask. In High School (eons ago), I was voted the girl with the best complexion, and all I ever did was use Dove Soap and very hot water on my face. Now that I'm a bit older than a teenager, I started using these Ayurvedic oils on my face. Now I'm also using their deodorant; my husband is thrilled about this one!
I am NOT an affiliate and receive NO compensation for recommending them. I don't believe in making money off of my recommendations. So, here is a link to their website, https://theayurvedaexperience.com/.
And they also offer complimentary consultations if you'd like some help with which of their wonderful products are right for you. If you'd like to talk to me about which products I use or anything else, schedule a Virtual Chat with me, http://bit.ly/3GEKV1
I pray that when I die
no-one waxes lyrical
about the quality of my skin
for my age.
I pray that no-one
compliments my corpse
on its great condition.
I want everyone to remember
the way I showed my face to the sun
without care for lines
and how I used my body out,
every minute of every day
in the most beautiful
and fun-filled ways.
I am not here to preserve
I’m here to live.
And my body will tell that story well
when my time comes.
- Donna Ashworth
From my new collection Wild Hope 🤍
If you know any women who would benefit from reading this, please forward it to them. And if you (or they) want to get my 10 Tips For Powerful Aging, click on this link, http://bit.ly/3XeX6IK
I'm also soliciting feedback on which topics on aging are of interest to you, so I'd love to have a Virtual Chat about your specific aging concerns. Go here to schedule, http://bit.ly/3GEKV1h
Beloveds! I am offering a complimentary 1-hour Sample Discovery Session with only one string attached...I will want your HONEST feedback within 2 days of our session. That's it, no selling, no sneaky tricks to extract money from you. I need your help to get back on course, and I want to be sure I am offering useful and maybe even life-changing coaching. This offer is limited to 6 women, so schedule a Discovery Session at https://tarufisher.coachesconsole.com/calendar or send an email to me at email@example.com right away if none of the available times on that calendar work for you. We can arrange a time that will work.
Here are a couple of testimonials from my past Sample Discovery sessions:
"Taru, I got more from your one 45-minute coaching session than I got in 6 months with my former coach…I love working with someone so professional and focused on results."
"I appreciated how Taru listened to what I had to say and prompted me to really explore where my issues were. I liked the emphasis on the positive...if I wanted to do coaching, Taru would be my first choice."